Lifestyle

Why I Got Married Young- a Q&A

For those of you who don’t know, though I am sure many of you do, I recently got married. July 28th, 2018 I made the lifelong commitment to become the wife of a fantastic human, my husband Nate. I am only 20 years old and I got engaged when I was 19 (Nate and I are the same age), because of my age many people had a lot to say about our impeding nuptials. I want to write this post in a question and answer style format with all of the questions I have received most often about marriage.

How did you guys meet?

Contrary to popular belief Nate and I did not meet at the college we both currently attend, we actually met at church camp the summer after our senior year. Our two churches along with another church decided to come together for a camp in the summer of 2016. Nate and I had both just graduated from high school and each had plans to attend a different college. To be honest, we barely spoke the first time that we met. There was one event in particular where we were all playing volleyball outside and it was my turn to serve. I probably could have served but I was too nervous to try in front of a bunch of strangers. Nate must have sensed that, and he has a wicked serve, so he offered to serve for me. I gratefully accepted. That was the only time we talked at camp. No joke. After that we both went back to our own towns and we didn’t even know each other’s names. Later I found out that another girl who went to my church had found Nate on instagram though. I have never been very shy about putting myself out there when I thought a guy was cute so I added him as well. Immediately after adding him he liked one of my old photos so I took that as an invite to DM him, so dorky, so millennial. I messaged him and thanked him for serving the volleyball for me. After that we struck up a friendship and talked throughout the rest of the summer. That is how we met ๐Ÿ™‚

My friend Megan and I at the camp Nate and I met at. She and I called him “Beaver” because he wore a lot of Oregon beaver gear and we didn’t know his name. *Fun Fact* Megan goes to the same college as us now too.

Did you switch universities because of some boy?

No. Both of us were heading to separate colleges that fall, he to Oregon and I to Arizona so I wasn’t really holding out hope for any kind of romantic relationship but it was nice to have somebody to talk to. After we both made it to college he, to my surprise, still messaged me and we continued to talk. Neither of us had said that we liked one another at this point. By the time November rolled around I had fully realized that this college in Arizona was not where I wanted to be. I loved my job there and I liked living in such a beautiful place but the program that I was in wasn’t meeting my academic needs. I was devastated that I had made such a “bad” life choice and that I was going to have to move again and I wasn’t sure what to do. So during that time I started to look into other colleges and honestly my first choice was to head down to California. A California school had been my top college choice from the get-go but I had chosen to go to Arizona to save money. When I looked back into every other school I had been accepted to in the fall though, they told me I would have to come in as a transfer student and I would not receive freshman financial aid anymore. For anybody that doesn’t know, transfer scholarships are drastically smaller than freshman scholarships and so I could not afford the California school any longer. In steps Nate’s college. I had actually previously applied to go there in the fall of my Senior year and been accepted. I had turned down the idea of going there though because it seemed to close to my hometown and I really wanted to venture out. I contacted them about transferring the next year and they told me they would still give me a freshman scholarship if I transferred in December. They were the only college to still offer me a freshman scholarship, so I accepted and transferred.

How did he propose?

Nate proposed to me on a beach in Ferndale, Washington while standing inside a driftwood heart. Super cute. Nate had gone out and bought a ring with his mom, without me knowing, several days before. After that my mom, sister and I had plans of going up to Bellingham (which is a neighboring city to Ferndale) to visit my sister’s new college. She was transferring up there so it made sense for us all to go. Simultaneously, Nate had made plans for us to meet up at his friend Colton’s house to have dinner that night after her orientation because we are all friends and wanted to hang out before we had to go back home. A few days later we drove up to Bellingham and as far as I knew Nate had been at work all day at the local golf course, he had even driven there to take snapchats so I would think he worked that day. He told me he was going to meet us a Colton’s house a little later after he got off work. Instead, he was at Colton’s house preparing for the proposal. When we arrived at Colton’s house his family greeted us and then told us to come look at a seal they everyone had spotted down on the beach, this wasn’t very convincing (Sorry, Lisa hahaha) so I knew something was up. We all walked down to the beach and there was Nate standing inside a heart made of driftwood. All of Colton’s family had geared up with cameras to take pictures over the fence as Nate proposed. It was during a sunset, it was perfect.

The driftwood heart he proposed in

The sunset after the proposal

Why did you decide to get married/engaged so young?

So this is actually my favorite question because I feel really strongly about my answer. So, I decided to get married because I knew that Nate was a perfect person for me. I had been in a few relationships prior to dating Nate and after I had been dating him for a little while I just knew that our personalities and who we were as people were meant to go together. I knew that we could break up and I could find somebody else to date and he could too and that would be fun because dating around in college is fun and extremely tempting! It would have been exciting all the time and really interesting, but I knew that if I decided to go down that path then I was going to lose something really special. I didn’t think I would be able to find somebody like Nate very easily ever again. I am not against dating around in college but it just wasn’t my path to take. God put Nate in my life at the beginning of my college career so it was a choice I had to wrestle with. I guess that was the thing that made me so sure about marrying him. I knew that he was the best fit for me and I was hoping he felt the same way too. We talked about marriage seriously for a few months before we decided to get engaged. After that we both wanted to wait a full year to grow as a couple and really settle into our decision before moving forward with a wedding and so that is what we did. We got engaged in July of 2017 and married in July of 2018. It was a really good timeline and I would recommend it to anyone. It was fantastic to have time to seriously consider and pray about our future. It was also super beneficial for wedding planning, any less than a year for planning seems almost impossible! Anyways, I couldn’t imagine being with anybody else now.

How is married life?

Married life is good y’all. This is probably the question I get asked the most often especially from people I haven’t seen for a while. It is good. Nate and I are both in college as I have mentioned before and we both also work a lot. This makes it pretty hard to spend time together during the school year. Despite a shortage of time we do make the most out of the time we do get to spend together. When we get the chance our favorite thing to do is to go out on a hike or adventure. Our vlogs on the travel tab show some of those adventures. When we’re not adventuring we are visiting family which we love to do too. To drive up to Nate’s hometown we spend a glorious 5 and a half hours in the car and honestly it’s so fun to be able to have that long of a period of time to just enjoy each other’s presence. Is everything always perfect? No. Do we fight sometimes? Yes. But the difference is we always work hard to resolve our issues and our miscommunications because we are devoted to each other and our relationship for life. We promised that on the day that we got married. This security is one of the most special things about marriage. Both of us are secure in the fact that the other isn’t going anywhere and we are here for one another for life.

Nate and I when we had first started dating

Nate and I last month, same pose different hair hahaha

Anyways, those are a few questions that I have been asked regarding marriage. I always feel like I can never answer those kinds of questions fully or thoughtfully enough in person. I wanted to make this Q & A a little more universally applicable to people who don’t know us but honestly marriage is so personal and unique. Each person’s story is different and special; and this one is ours. Thank you so much for reading.

-Ash

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